Bataan 2019: After Action Report

I have been dwelling on my performance at the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March for the past week. I failed to complete the course, dropping out at Mile Marker 19 due to an injury to my left hip flexor. A lot of questions have been swirling about my brain since I made the decision to drop out.

A great view from the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March course.

How did this happen? Why couldn’t I suck up the pain for another few miles? When did my body become so weak it couldn’t walk 26.2 miles? What happened to my mental and intestinal fortitude that this kind of pain couldn’t be overcome? Why did I fail?

Well, there are a lot of answers to each of those questions, but my failure boils down to a single reason: a complete lack of preparation. I did not follow a training program nor did I increase my activity in the months leading up to Bataan 2019. I continued my sedentary, office oriented lifestyle without a second thought to my lack of activity contributing to failing at completing a life goal (bucket list item, if you will).

Selfie 2-Days Before the March

When I was 20 years old and in the Army, I could pick up a rucksack weighing 50 pounds or more and walk for hours without anything more than sore legs to show for it. When I was 27 years old and a security contractor in Kosovo, I finished an 8-hour shift at work only to sprint to my room to grab a 40 pound pack to join the 2011 commemorative Bataan Memorial Death March being held on Camp Bondsteel. I was late to the start line and still didn’t finish the 12-mile course last. Since returning to the United States in 2012, my physical activity (and ability) has steadily declined.

My day-to-day lifestyle contributed to my failure on March 17, 2019 in the deserts of southern New Mexico. A lack of strength, flexibility, and endurance resulted in an epic failure. How do I fix this with my office job, heavy travel schedule, and general laziness when sitting on my couch?

  1. Purpose and Motivation: My purpose and motivation is to complete the Bataan Memorial Death March course in order to check it off my life goals (bucket) list. Thus adding my name to the short list of people who have completed the event while honoring the original veterans forced to march more than 50-miles in the Philippines to their prison camp. Pride plays a part in all of this as well. I can’t forget these things as I work to improve myself enough to complete the Bataan Memorial Death March.
  2. Planning: Walking into the Bataan Memorial Death March without a plan has proven to be a recipe for disaster. Having a training plan oriented towards the challenges of the event, incorporating targeted activities into my daily life to build strength and endurance, and understanding what I need to do to improve my flexibility all fall within the grand plan. As a project manager, this should have been my default stance for the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March – epic fail.
  3. Mental and Physical Strength: As mentioned in #2 I have to spend the sweat equity to improve my physical state. I don’t improve as quickly as I used to and I don’t recover as quickly as in my 20’s either. With this in mind, my planning needs to incorporate the time to build and recover properly. This is a no-brainer improvement but needs to be stated nonetheless.
  4. Patience: I have never been a fan of delayed gratification. I simply don’t like waiting (#millennial, I guess) for benefits or improvement and I become discouraged when I don’t see these things quickly. Transforming my mid-30s body into something better is going to take time and the sooner I accept this fact, the better off I will be overall.
  5. Positive Mental State: I cannot waiver from an “I will finish the course” state of mind. I’ve always been a pessimist/negative oriented realist which drags down my motivation and negatively impacts those people around me. Going into next year, I need to work on improving my mental state before, during, and after the event. If I can’t convince my mind that I will finish the course then how is my body going to push through the pain and barriers?

I have moved past kicking myself for not finishing the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March and into my preparations for the 2020 event. I will continue to reflect on this years march as a source of information and motivation, but I will focus on transforming this negative result into a positive learning experience. Next year, I will succeed.

What did you learn from the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March? How will you do better next year? Any lessons to share with the world?

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Hiking the Rio Grande

Start of the Hike
The trail near Tingley Beach where The Dog and I started our hike.

I woke up this morning looking forward to the block of time scheduled on my calendar from 7:00 AM to 9:00 AM. I know, who the heck looks forward to anything at seven in the morning on a Saturday? Most people are still asleep or just waking up to their first cup of coffee around that time on a Saturday morning. I, on the other hand, had made sure I had dedicated time to pack up the dog and a small backpack early enough to beat the crowds on the trails skirting the east side of the Rio Grande.

These excursions into the Bosque are my escape from the riggers of day-to-day life. Limited technology, only the faintest sound of traffic in the distance, and quiet head space to explore those thoughts normally suppressed by the rush of daily existence. It is a peaceful place to find yourself in on a Saturday morning. I don’t take this time nearly enough.

The Dog was less than impressed with the early start to the day. She doesn’t get out enough to understand events like this should be a regular aspect of her life. However, she sat quietly as I put her vest, collar, and nose-guide on in preparation for our excursion. Obediently, she hopped in the front passenger seat of the car and began to shake. It was chilly this morning, but her shaking was simply from being put in the car (an experience she still isn’t fond of).

We drove the one mile distance in just a few minutes. Passing downtown’s multi-story buildings, the outskirts of the zoo, and the older parts of the Barelas Neighborhood. It was quiet and almost no traffic. The perfect start to the day.

We unloaded at Tingley Beach and headed off into the wild. It sounds childish, but despite the number of times I have hiked these trails, I still feel like an explorer far from civilization discovering new places in the world. It’s a freeing feeling to think that so few people (statistically speaking) have walked the same trails I have walked. The Dog led the way with enthusiasm as she smelled the scents of a hundred dogs who came before her, trying to cover all of them as quickly as possible – suffice to say, she failed.

 

With a brisk breeze and a rising sun, we headed north along the well-worn trails between the Rio Grande and The Paseo Del Bosque Trail. The cottonwood trees swayed back and forth, the river flowed just beyond the trees, and we hiked our way through a corridor used throughout history. It was very calming, almost meditative, as we passed the river viewing area just south of Central Avenue.

The quiet and centering feeling continued through our turnaround point at Interstate 40. It was only after we took a break, about a quarter of a mile south of the Interstate, on our way back to where we parked the car that we started to see more foot traffic. For the most part, the other trail users were polite and courteous – making sure their dogs were properly handled, moving to the side to allow us both to pass each other, and taking care to not overly disturb the surrounding vegetation off trail. However, it is important to note that many of the dog owners do not keep their dogs on leashes unless they see someone else on the trail. This can cause a canine confrontation calamity if you’re not paying attention.

Throughout the return trip, The Dog and I got to listen to the river, a wily woodpecker trying to force its way through a Cottonwood, and (presumably) the mating calls of geese and ducks. It was all very grounding for me personally and helps me appreciate the world we live in just a little bit more than I do on a daily basis. This is an experience people of all ages can enjoy.

All in all, The Dog and I walked a little over 5 miles at a leisurely pace in about 2 hours. I highly recommend that everyone takes some time to disconnect from the modern world and return to the nearly raw nature of a hiking area – even if the trails are improved and you’re not breaking brush to get where you’re going. I know I will be making sure to regularly block out time on my calendar (and in my head) to hike the trails in and around Albuquerque.

Where do you like to hike? What benefits do you get out of a quiet walk through nature? Do you take your dog(s) with you or prefer the company of bipeds? Tell us all about it in the comment section – don’t forget to like, follow, and share this post on your favorite social media site!

Why I Deleted My Facebook Apps

Facebook Logo
Facebook logo obtained from https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:F_icon.svg.

Facebook has been in the news recently for its complicit behavior towards Cambridge Analytica’s use of their API to data mine tens of millions of users. This sparked a #DeleteFacebook campaign (for which, I am sure Twitter was very grateful for) to protest the social media network’s handling of user data and its apparent unwillingness to regulate third-parties accessing that data.

With that brief synopsis out of the way, this most recent situation is not why I deleted my Facebook apps from my phone. Anyone who does not understand (through common sense, the terms and conditions, or privacy policies of social network companies) the data you put into these social media systems can be used for just about anything the company wants to use it for. These are content companies that do not create content because the masses are willing to do that all by themselves. Anything that goes into “the cloud” or on a social media site is free game for these companies. I accept all of these facts as necessary evils of the “online world” and do not have an issue with what I put online being used to profile me (after all, I put it there willingly).

However, I have been noticing a pattern of behavior over the past several months that I realized had been there since I got my first iPhone. I was spending an inordinate amount of time scrolling through my Facebook news feed and on Messenger. I wasn’t looking for anything in particular and my friends are not avid post makers; I was just scrolling through it to see if I had “missed” anything. Hours and hours spent staring at my iPhone 7 reading headlines and click-bate.

A few Saturdays ago, I realized I spent 4 straight hours staring at my news feed. I had tapped on a number of entertaining items, but I hadn’t internalized any of the information (makes sense since none of the information was worth remembering). My eyes hurt from staring at the small, high-definition screen. My body was achy from being in the same position on my couch for so long. The day was shot due to my apparent inability to get out of Facebook and off my phone.

There have been a number of studies conducted that show people spending hours on social media sites (primarily from their smart phone). We aren’t addicted to the technology (whether it be the code of the social media site or the phone itself), we are addicted to wanting to be “the cool kid” who sees the next viral meme first and shares their insight on the best meal in town or the next “hot” event.

I am 34 years old – I was never the cool kid and I haven’t had the desire to be the cool kid in over a decade. So why was I spending so much time scrolling through Facebook?

Passive entertainment. It takes zero effort to scroll through a news feed and very little conscious drive to tap a thumbs up button indicating you liked someone’s content. Unlike a hike or run, you get a pleasure from the content of your news feed on Facebook that is so easy to acquire you don’t want to do anything else.

People talk about cutting the cord when it comes to cable television providers (opting for online services like Netflix and Hulu), but so few people talk about the negative impact on kids and adults alike of needing to be on social media. These sites prey on a person’s desire to be entertained and informed. They are not inherently evil for doing this (it’s a business model created by my generation after all), but I doubt they would apologize for sedating my generation and the generations to come.

With all of this in mind, I have deleted Facebook, Messenger, and my Facebook Admin apps from my phone. I do this not as an official form of protest, but as a way of saving myself from wasting any more time staring at my phone. I will still utilize the services from my web browser on my laptop (for some reason it is less engaging in this format), but will no longer burn through 60% of my battery simply scrolling.

Since logging out and deleting the apps, I have found myself with hours to fill with much more productive activity such as gardening, reading, writing, and spending time with people in the real world. It has been amazing so far and I plan on keeping it this way.

How do you all feel about social media and its use of our freely provided content? Have you #DeletedFacebook form your devices? Did you close your accounts completely? Share in the comments below and don’t forget to visit this blog’s social media accounts to like and follow for additional content!

In-Flight Reset

Post 10 - Railyards
Albuquerque Rail Yards

I have been absent from my blog for the past two weeks as I thrust myself into an experiment to prove what I am doing has been positive. Essentially, I tested whether my lifestyle before this year was actually a bad thing. Initial results: it absolutely was bad for me.

Early this week I had to travel to New Jersey for work which broke the routine I have been following since the beginning of the year. This lapse in commitment on my part led to the aforementioned experiment. I started to leave the television on for hours on end, my diet went to shit, and I haven’t been to the gym in a week. My energy plummeted, attitude suffered, and motivation evaporated. I found myself wasting hour after hour doing nothing of importance – I passed from relaxation into laziness.

All of this helps to highlight the fact that new habits and commitments to improving yourself are fragile. It doesn’t take much to backslide into your old ways and, if you’re not careful, stay there.

I did not set out to test my resolve nor did I anticipate such a fast return to my toxic habits of the past. Fortunately, I have been able to identify what is happening and fix the problem.

Today has been a more productive day (outside of the office) than any in the past two weeks. I am in the process of an in-flight reset to ensure I don’t lose all of my gains this year and push through this barrier as quickly as possible. To help with this, I am doing the following:

  1. Calendar Organization – I am blocking time out using my personal Google Calendar to help keep me on track each day. This is not granular enough to result in notification fatigue, but pings me with general guidance as to what I should be doing.
  2. Writing – This is helped by my calendar, but keeping this blog and my personal Dailies in mind at all times. Writing has always been a way for me to organize my thoughts and vent my frustrations before they negatively impact my day-to-day. This year is highly focused on building this habit and skillset.
  3. Three Goals Per Day – I use this technique at work to ensure I stay focused on what is important. I may complete 100 tasks in a day, but it only truly matters if I complete all 3 of my primary goals I set out with at the beginning of each day. These goals can be as small “go to the gym” or “write a Daily” anything that I want to make progress on in a particular day.

This post will likely read as a bit scattered. There is a simple reason for this: it is. I needed to jump start my writing and this post is what I came up with. I hope you get something out of it like I did.

What do you do to get back on track after a stumble? Are there any things you do to make every day a productive day? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

My Goals for 2018

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Most people create “resolutions” for the new year – temporary motivations towards improving their lives, the lives of others, or simple self satisfaction. Unfortunately, most people don’t follow through with these resolutions for a better version of themselves. I have been one of those people up to this point.

This year I am taking a different approach. This year, I didn’t wait until New year’s Eve or Day to start improving myself and my situation in life. In the weeks leading up to the end of 2017, I began seriously thinking about and documenting my¬†goals for 2018 and beyond. I did not see the point of waiting until the calendar ticked from December 31, 2017 to January 1, 2018 to begin working on fixing my shortcomings.

I am sharing my list of goals with the world (even if the world doesn’t read this electron of text) for accountability purposes. It is easy to fail at something that you alone know about since a self-berating rant is easy to ignore. Knowing that you put yourself out to the world and the world will ruthlessly roast a person for failure or giving up adds some pressure that could create a diamond.

Goals for 2018 and Beyond:

  1. Lose 25 pounds
    • Current weight: 203 lbs
    • Timeline: July 1, 2018 and kept off for an additional 6 months after which time I will re-evaluate
    • Other than general health reasons, losing weight (subsequently gaining muscle) will require the gym which helps justify the $80 a month I pay for full access to said facilities.
  2. Maintain a personal blog with no fewer than 52 posts in 2018
    • Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me, but I never seem to maintain the practice like I should. This is mentally and emotionally beneficial for me.
  3. Log at least 180 personal journal entries (electronic or handwritten) in 2018
    • As with the personal blog, writing is beneficial to my wellbeing and I need to make a concerted effort to write regularly.
  4. Complete the 10k “Run for the Zoo” in May 2018
    • This goal is in line with my weight loss goal, but would mark my first competitive running with civilians (since I regularly ran 5k’s in Kosovo).
    • A five month running training plan should be more than adequate to not embarrass myself during the event.
    • Logging all training and competition miles in Runtastic or Apple Workout App.
  5. Finish the half-marathon OR marathon in the Duke City Marathon in Oct 2018
    • Same comments as the 10k “Run for the Zoo”.
  6. QUIT SMOKING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
    • Not only is the week to week out of pocket expense ridiculous (likely to be upwards of $3,000 a year!), but the longterm health risks will be very expensive if not life ending.
    • I am no longer the teenage rebel or young Army Sergeant with something to prove – I need to stop acting like it!
    • It would be nice to initially accomplish this goal by March 2018.
  7. Pay OFF 85% of existing debt in 2018
    • Paying off this debt will allow the Husband and I to do more with our lives since we won’t have the constant fear of financial collapse.
    • This goal is also a key factor in accomplishing what we have termed “Goal 40” – our exodus from the city to the country.
  8. Save $15,000 in cash and investments by year’s end
    • The amount is lofty (at best), but can be accomplished with the right amount of sacrifice and focus.
  9. Hike to the top of the Crest (Sandia Mountain)
    • This has been something I have wanted to do for some time now but always find an excuse not to do.
  10. Read 20 books (of any subject)
    • This is more important than other things

I am off to a strong start over the past month. In the last 3 weeks I have lost 6 pounds, read 1 book, and taken stringent efforts to improve my financial security. This is the personal blog mentioned in goal #2 so judge for yourself my successes on that one. I have also managed to make 10 personal journal entries which have proven very therapeutic.

What are your goals for 2018 and beyond? Do you prefer thinking of them as resolutions or goals? Why? Share the you that you want to be with the world!