2018 – A Year of Progress But Ultimately a Failure

Like many people, I have spent time reflecting on the year as it comes to a close. Many questions have been rattling around my head trying to gauge my success this year. As usual, my answers to these questions inevitably result in an evaluation rated as “average”. Those close to me will say I am being too hard on myself or that my analysis isn’t accurate, but I feel the results are as impartial as can be expected.

To start, I only achieved 2 of the 10 goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year. Marching in the 2018 Bataan Memorial Death March and writing on this blog were my measurable accomplishments (i.e. documented goals at the start of the year). I failed to lose the weight, pay off as much debt as I projected, or quit smoking. Losses across the board.

However, I did manage to accomplish a lot this year that wasn’t contained within the limits of those goals which is why I don’t feel like a total failure. This is not a silver-lining moment to minimize my shortcomings of 2018, it is simply the truth. So, what did come out of 2018?

  • I was on the road for work or personal reasons 15% of the year
    • According to the airlines I spent nearly 60 hours on planes
    • I visited 8 states and 2 dozen cities (many were new to me)
    • I flew 25,000 miles on one airline (enough to circumnavigate the earth one time)
  • I was promoted at work
  • I purposefully made time for other people
  • I learned new skills
  • I took time off from work (a shocker even to me)
  • I paid off some debt
  • I read a dozen books that weren’t related to work
  • I celebrated 10 years of being out of the Army
  • I celebrated 7 years with the man I love most in this world
  • I planted a garden with my husband

Today, I am a better person than I was a year ago, this is a fact beyond dispute. Personally, professionally, financially – I made gains in all these categories throughout the year. My one regret is that these gains are not measurable, at best they are anecdotal. Fortunately, since I have identified these shortcomings I can take strides to improve next year.

I am ending this year with a smile on my face and plenty of hope for the future. Of course, to support that hope, I have already established a solid plan for the coming year and am laying the foundation for continued success beyond 2019.

How did your year end? Were you successful in your pursuits or happily enlightened to new priorities? Do you have 2019 planned out or are you flying by the seat of your pants?

Bataan 2018…The Day After – Part 4

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Eating green tea ice cream circa 2014 in Taiwan – I had already packed on 40 pounds of excess weight at this point.

Like so many veterans, I left the Army and immediately stopped doing any form of physical training (PT). I began ingesting far more calories than my newly lethargic lifestyle could ever process and, as happens, started to pack on the pounds. Over the years, my weight and fitness level have yo-yo’d from fat and cardiac-event risk to slim and fit. During the valleys of fast food and little activity, I constantly sell myself on the idea that I am as good as I was in my mid-20’s running mile after mile everyday, packing rucks with 50+ pounds and walking until my feet bled, and being “tactically cool” as I cleared houses in Iraq wearing 90 pounds worth of gear and ammo. Unfortunately, despite my success selling myself on these ideas, the truth is much more grounding:

I am overweight, out of shape, and not as good as I once was.

The truth hurts and putting it out to the world in this way is very embarrassing for me. I have always prided myself on being disciplined and ready for whatever the world throws at me. However, with my inability to complete the full course of the Bataan Memorial Death March 2018 comes the realization that I have bought into my own lie, hook, line, and sinker.

Fortunately, it is not too late to turn this all around. It is possible that I will never be as good as I was as a young sergeant in Iraq, but I can be a whole lot better than I am today. My 2018 goals are geared towards my own improvement including physical fitness – not just weight loss, but physical ability to accomplish tasks that I currently struggle with or outright fail at. In line with this physical improvement is preparation for the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March taking place on March 17, 2019.

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A horrible selfie sometime around Mile 10 or 11

As I have written about my experiences at the Bataan Memorial Death March 2018 in Parts 1, 2, and 3 of “The Day After” series, my physical preparations were insufficient to complete the full route this year. I have two more physical challenges in 2018 as a part of my 2018 goals which do not include any “from the hip” entries I may have in other events that pop-up in the next 9 months. These events will help drive me to improve my physical capabilities and increase my chances of completing the 2019 Bataan memorial Death March 26.2 mile route.

My rough training plan for the 2019 Bataan Memorial Death March:

  1. Albuquerque “Run for the Zoo” 10k – May 6, 2018
    • I have 5 weeks to train for this event and will be detailing that adventure in future blog posts.
  2. The “Duke City Marathon” – October 21, 2018
    • I plan on finding a 3 to 4 month training plan to up my distance from 10k range to a full marathon and will be detailing this journey in future blog posts.
  3. 20-week Bataan Memorial Death March provided training plan
    • After an appropriate rest period following the Duke City Marathon, The Husband and I will follow the 20-week training plan provided by event organizers. I will be recording our experiences on this blog.
  4. Weekly Ruck Marches
    • I plan on utilizing the wonderful terrain in and around Albuquerque to ruck short to long distances with light to heavy weight at least one day a week throughout the year until I start the official Bataan training plan.
  5. Strength Training
    • Incorporated into all of my training plans for the above events will be regular strength training. This is something I have never been fond of (pick up heavy things and then put them back where I found them), but I am weaker today than I have ever been in my entire life. This is not something I am okay with and I am willing to take whatever steps are necessary to correct this problem.

Since the above points are my rough plan, I am sure I will provide more refined and tested training plans for each event in the future. Keep in mind, I am not a nutritionist, certified trainer, or other certified sports exercise professional so don’t follow my plans without first checking with a healthcare professional. I am willing to use trial and error to improve myself until I am in a position to consult with professionals.

I know this is going to be a very difficult road over the next year, but I am committed to fixing the problems I have created. I am glad I chose to share my own embarrassment with everyone who happens upon this blog because it provides me a higher sense of accountability (much like I had in the Army). It’s time to prove through hard work that none of us are stuck with our present situation!

Are you a veteran or do you know a veteran who let themselves go after leaving the service? Have you (or they) come back from that bad place? How did you (or they) do it? Any advice for me or the readers of this blog? Share in the comments below! Also, remember to follow this blog and like us on social media!

In-Flight Reset

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Albuquerque Rail Yards

I have been absent from my blog for the past two weeks as I thrust myself into an experiment to prove what I am doing has been positive. Essentially, I tested whether my lifestyle before this year was actually a bad thing. Initial results: it absolutely was bad for me.

Early this week I had to travel to New Jersey for work which broke the routine I have been following since the beginning of the year. This lapse in commitment on my part led to the aforementioned experiment. I started to leave the television on for hours on end, my diet went to shit, and I haven’t been to the gym in a week. My energy plummeted, attitude suffered, and motivation evaporated. I found myself wasting hour after hour doing nothing of importance – I passed from relaxation into laziness.

All of this helps to highlight the fact that new habits and commitments to improving yourself are fragile. It doesn’t take much to backslide into your old ways and, if you’re not careful, stay there.

I did not set out to test my resolve nor did I anticipate such a fast return to my toxic habits of the past. Fortunately, I have been able to identify what is happening and fix the problem.

Today has been a more productive day (outside of the office) than any in the past two weeks. I am in the process of an in-flight reset to ensure I don’t lose all of my gains this year and push through this barrier as quickly as possible. To help with this, I am doing the following:

  1. Calendar Organization – I am blocking time out using my personal Google Calendar to help keep me on track each day. This is not granular enough to result in notification fatigue, but pings me with general guidance as to what I should be doing.
  2. Writing – This is helped by my calendar, but keeping this blog and my personal Dailies in mind at all times. Writing has always been a way for me to organize my thoughts and vent my frustrations before they negatively impact my day-to-day. This year is highly focused on building this habit and skillset.
  3. Three Goals Per Day – I use this technique at work to ensure I stay focused on what is important. I may complete 100 tasks in a day, but it only truly matters if I complete all 3 of my primary goals I set out with at the beginning of each day. These goals can be as small “go to the gym” or “write a Daily” anything that I want to make progress on in a particular day.

This post will likely read as a bit scattered. There is a simple reason for this: it is. I needed to jump start my writing and this post is what I came up with. I hope you get something out of it like I did.

What do you do to get back on track after a stumble? Are there any things you do to make every day a productive day? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

2018 Goals – Status Check

It has been nearly a month since 2018 started and I have worked the past 4 weeks to make meaningful gains towards my goals for the year. I won’t lie, this hasn’t been the easiest thing to do. Yesterday, I had a couple of wrenches thrown in the machine that is my progress by work. I spent most of last night sorting through different ways to handle the stress introduced throughout the week as well as the bombshells of Friday the 26th of January.

Morning RunDespite unforeseen (yet expected, break that down) circumstances resulting in some financial strain, increased stress in life, and the temptation to slip into my old ways, I still got the house cleaned and laundry started. Win for me. This morning, I woke up and had my cup of coffee, furthered the weekly laundry parade, and headed to the gym. In one hour and six minutes, I ran/walked 5.34 miles on the treadmill with a variable incline. Another win for me. Of course, that euphoric feeling after running did nothing but help me decide that I am going to make it through this first hurdle of the year and, most likely, will come out the other side better off than I am today.

Remember, when life throws a roadblock in front of you, the best thing to do is accept the situation and its circumstances, determine the path forward, and drive on!

In that spirit, I have decided to give everyone a status update on my progress towards accomplishing my 2018 goals. Here we go:

  1. Lose 25 Pounds

    Weight Tracking
    Down 6 pounds!

    • STATUS: As of this morning I weigh 197.4 lbs!
    • I started the year at 203.2 pounds and have been weighing myself everyday, but only paying attention to the Saturday weigh-ins (for progress tracking).
    • I am very happy with my progress on this goal!
  2. Maintain a personal blog with no fewer than 52 posts in 2018
    • STATUS: This is my 7th post this year, definitely ahead of schedule!
    • Writing these blog posts has been thoroughly therapeutic and fun – each week I am looking forward to sitting down and publishing.
    • I recommend that anyone who can, should start a personal blog and commit to posting on a regular basis!
  3. Log at least 180 personal journal entries
    • STATUS: As of this morning, I am at 15 entries!
    • I am write on track (get it?) with this goal though sometimes I feel I’m still not writing enough.
  4. Complete the 10k “Run for the Zoo”
    • STATUS: Training is in full swing!
    • This race isn’t until May so I can’t complete it quite yet.
    • However, I have been running 1-2 times a week (4+ miles) along with high intensity interval training twice a week in order to prepare myself.
    • In the coming weeks, I will be switching from “get my body used to moving again” into an actual 10k training plan – more to come on this front later.
  5. Finish the half-marathon OR marathon in the Duke City Marathon
    • STATUS: Training is in full swing!
    • This race isn’t until October so I can’t complete it quite yet.
    • Once I start a complete the “Run for the Zoo” 10k, I am going to 16 week marathon training program – more to come on this front later.
  6. QUIT SMOKING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
    • STATUS: No change since the beginning of the year 😔
    • This is the most difficult goal for me to accomplish this year. I’ll write a separate post about my smoking problem in the future.
  7. Pay OFF 85% of existing debt
    • STATUS: 5% of my existing debt was paid off in January!
    • I am right on track with this goal and, barring an emergency or sudden change in my life, will be accomplished with plenty of time to spare
  8. Save $15,000 in cash and investments
    • STATUS: I have saved 3% of the total.
    • At this rate, I will only reach 36% of my total goal by the end of the year. I need to step it up and find additional sources of income as well as tighten the belt a bit.
  9. Hike to the top of the Crest (Sandia Mountain)
    • STATUS: Training is in full swing!
    • As a part of my training for the Bataan Memorial Death March, I make a point to be off-road or on trails as much as possible to help me with this goal as well.
    • Planned ascent is November so I still have plenty of time to make this happen.
  10. Read 20 books (of any subject)
    • STATUS: Halfway through two books at the moment
    • I haven’t been focusing on this goal as much as I should – plenty of excuses but no good reasons.

So, there it is, a lengthy post about my progress towards my 2018 goals. There is plenty of work left to do and I remain optimistic that I will be able to accomplish everything on this list this year. There may be some blood, sweat, and tears in the process, but it is all worth it in the end.

Until next time, take a moment to breath for 5 minutes – it really can help!

How are you doing with your 2018 goals? Have you run into any barriers causing you to stutter-step on your path to accomplishing your goals? How do you deal with stress from work? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

My Goals for 2018

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Most people create “resolutions” for the new year – temporary motivations towards improving their lives, the lives of others, or simple self satisfaction. Unfortunately, most people don’t follow through with these resolutions for a better version of themselves. I have been one of those people up to this point.

This year I am taking a different approach. This year, I didn’t wait until New year’s Eve or Day to start improving myself and my situation in life. In the weeks leading up to the end of 2017, I began seriously thinking about and documenting my goals for 2018 and beyond. I did not see the point of waiting until the calendar ticked from December 31, 2017 to January 1, 2018 to begin working on fixing my shortcomings.

I am sharing my list of goals with the world (even if the world doesn’t read this electron of text) for accountability purposes. It is easy to fail at something that you alone know about since a self-berating rant is easy to ignore. Knowing that you put yourself out to the world and the world will ruthlessly roast a person for failure or giving up adds some pressure that could create a diamond.

Goals for 2018 and Beyond:

  1. Lose 25 pounds
    • Current weight: 203 lbs
    • Timeline: July 1, 2018 and kept off for an additional 6 months after which time I will re-evaluate
    • Other than general health reasons, losing weight (subsequently gaining muscle) will require the gym which helps justify the $80 a month I pay for full access to said facilities.
  2. Maintain a personal blog with no fewer than 52 posts in 2018
    • Writing has always been a healthy outlet for me, but I never seem to maintain the practice like I should. This is mentally and emotionally beneficial for me.
  3. Log at least 180 personal journal entries (electronic or handwritten) in 2018
    • As with the personal blog, writing is beneficial to my wellbeing and I need to make a concerted effort to write regularly.
  4. Complete the 10k “Run for the Zoo” in May 2018
    • This goal is in line with my weight loss goal, but would mark my first competitive running with civilians (since I regularly ran 5k’s in Kosovo).
    • A five month running training plan should be more than adequate to not embarrass myself during the event.
    • Logging all training and competition miles in Runtastic or Apple Workout App.
  5. Finish the half-marathon OR marathon in the Duke City Marathon in Oct 2018
    • Same comments as the 10k “Run for the Zoo”.
  6. QUIT SMOKING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
    • Not only is the week to week out of pocket expense ridiculous (likely to be upwards of $3,000 a year!), but the longterm health risks will be very expensive if not life ending.
    • I am no longer the teenage rebel or young Army Sergeant with something to prove – I need to stop acting like it!
    • It would be nice to initially accomplish this goal by March 2018.
  7. Pay OFF 85% of existing debt in 2018
    • Paying off this debt will allow the Husband and I to do more with our lives since we won’t have the constant fear of financial collapse.
    • This goal is also a key factor in accomplishing what we have termed “Goal 40” – our exodus from the city to the country.
  8. Save $15,000 in cash and investments by year’s end
    • The amount is lofty (at best), but can be accomplished with the right amount of sacrifice and focus.
  9. Hike to the top of the Crest (Sandia Mountain)
    • This has been something I have wanted to do for some time now but always find an excuse not to do.
  10. Read 20 books (of any subject)
    • This is more important than other things

I am off to a strong start over the past month. In the last 3 weeks I have lost 6 pounds, read 1 book, and taken stringent efforts to improve my financial security. This is the personal blog mentioned in goal #2 so judge for yourself my successes on that one. I have also managed to make 10 personal journal entries which have proven very therapeutic.

What are your goals for 2018 and beyond? Do you prefer thinking of them as resolutions or goals? Why? Share the you that you want to be with the world!